History of The Romans

So the Romans were the first real strong empire.They had land from the Mederterainian sea to Krypton. They had an army of strong super man clones that he used to invade Greece and Pakastan. They were the first people to ever use the phrase Sweet and  Named TeaBagging Teabagging because  when people use to die they dropped 2 teabags on each of the dead person's Eyes. They Teamed up with the Celts and eventually were able to kill and defeat Chuck Norris in a staring contest and wone the  territory what we call today as Russia. so 100 long years went by and the celts and Romans had some diffrences and the celts attacked. their Platapus and centar army. the Celts Pushed the Romans Back to Romania (Ironically the countries name fits perfectly in our story XD). But as soon as the Cekts Highered  storm troopers they were able to push back the celts back to their homeland of celtmania. then The Romans  lost thier leader Iron man. ( did not loose him like he died But lost him because he had to  work as a slave because he lost a bet). so after this  the 4 main Generals (Pop eye, Wonder Women, Chuck Norris and Elmo) fought to be the King. they fought for ten full years and eventually Pop Eye WONE  and banned all foods but Viel (he hates spinich the SHOW LIES because they love cows). But Pop Eye was an evil leader he increased slaves by 400% and killed all that called him ugly which was half the country. But Pop EYe over used his power and eventually an evolution was comming. Tom Cruise and his Army of Mice over ran  Pop eye and killed all of his followers (who was just him and his slaves). But Tom Cruise renamed Rome as Cruise the Mooz and  it stated that way 2 years after his death His son charity renamed the country Rompa and started to attack  the celts and take all of their regions but he failed. because the celts actually nuked Romania (there capital) and then sent in their cockroach army  to finish them all off. After the Celts  invaded the north side of Rompa  and killed charity. But when they tried to invade southern Rompa the Rompains would not allow them  too they made the biggest army know to man  (most HIred Prostatutes). ans Held off  the Celts  at the border and Pushed them back to their  origonal border Lines.and who  was the Leader of this you may ask? well it was Smokey the Bear. He  actually  inventewd Lights and made the Rompians to stop using Fires. But 2 years after his Rain he recalled  the land Rome and invaded the Romulans. they eventuallly ruled all but  the land of the celts. But like all leaders Smokey Died By Smoking to mutch and then the country was divided again. DIvided and weak there country fell into  five territories. (Rome,Narnia,Justin Bieber Fan Club, Goblin Empire of the sulosas, Lankasters). Theese five territories fought for the rule of  the Rome Empire. But whith out them knowing the Greeks and Celts invaded  all but the Rome and Narnian territories. so the Narnians Led by the Blan Invaded the southern Celtic kingdom and Led the Narnians to Victory. Then the Romans invaded what we all call China. so the NArninas and the Romans made a deal they would all unite if the Romans gave up there higest and most powerfull heroe named Pokokeyoe. SO they did and both the countries united and invaded the celts  they eventually killed almost all of the celtic kingdom but there capital territory Celticiandpo(Mitt Romneys back Yard). and then  the new kingdom of ROme killed all but the greeks so they just did what anyone would do. they rreleased two billion Zombies into  the Greeks land and waited for them all to die. sso when all the greeks were dead and the Zombies were all over the place they used the Zombies as slaves. so the Romans had all the land in the world. But did they own out side the world??? NO with out them knowing a hord of kittens coming from kittnomania and a group of spookyu ghost from who the hell knows were heading for earth  ready to invade. so they did and killed all the Romans every one. BUt you may ask about who the Romans are today?? they are actually not Romans they are Itallians allot Diffrent (or are they DUH DUH DUH).

(this is not me being racist I am  sicilian (part of italy and were a part of Rome and Greece) and I am going to make fun of almost every historical country and empire from the Chineese to the  Canadians)

-BY who ever you think wrote this